When stress takes over our lives so do our thoughts. Do you ever notice that when we have a lot on our mind we tend to have more negative thoughts? These intense feelings and thoughts seem to come out of nowhere.

They show up when you least expect it. It might be anxiety, despair, loneliness, resentment, bitterness, jealousy, or anger. What is your response to this villain who is attempting to take over your mind, body and emotions?

You have two choices: Willingly become a prisoner, or assert yourself and regain control.

If you don’t want to be “hijacked,” turn the gun around and hold your thoughts captive. Use your inner voice to coach yourself, and regain control of your emotions.

For quick relief, try these five proven techniques to reduce stress instantly:

1. Eliminate Your Stress by Changing Your Perspective. You may not be able to control the source of your stress, but you can control the way you respond to it. Change your perspective by reframing what is happening around you. In other words, change your interpretation. Think about things in a new and positive way. If you’re on the verge of a meltdown, for example, because your spouse trashed the bathroom (and left wet towels on the floor) you could remind yourself that he was running late for work.

If your co-worker lashes out at you, remind yourself that they are stressed because of deadlines, quotas, or something else beyond your control. In other words, try to be easy going and don’t take things personally. Whatever happens, strive to be cool, calm and collected. Rather than lashing out and reacting emotionally to difficult people and situations, diffuse your feelings by putting things in a proper perspective. Reframing takes conscious effort, but being flexible and easygoing will reduce your stress level.

2. Eliminate Your Stress by Letting It Go. Be forgiving of others and yourself. There is a difference between conviction and condemnation. Conviction is a healthy form of guilt. If you make a mistake, admit it. Accept responsibility and strive to make things right. Learn all you can from your mistakes, and then let it go. Don’t rehash, analyze, blame, or continue to ask why things happened the way they did. Don’t condemn yourself; let it go.

Release your feelings and don’t apply any more negative energy to the situation. Remember that there is nothing you can do to change the past. Let go of your mistakes. Put it behind you and move on with a clean slate.

3. Eliminate Your Stress by Taking Responsibility. Sometimes obvious solutions are overlooked by the people who need them the most. Your aunt can’t finish a sentence without hacking, and gasps for air after walking up the stairs. The problem? She refuses to stop smoking. There’s a job opening that’s perfect for your unemployed neighbor with seven kids. The problem? He refuses to apply. The man is crippled by feelings of inadequacy and failure. To make matters worse, he refuses to get help for his emotional problems. As much as we want to help other people, they must want to help themselves. We can’t talk them into it. In the long run, individuals must be personally motivated to change.

Don’t be stressed out about people, circumstances or events that are beyond your control. If someone refuses to get the help they need, realize that it’s not your responsibility. The only person you’re responsible for is yourself.

4. Eliminate Your Stress by Staying Positive. You can be resilient to stress in everyday life by thinking positively. Be happy, optimistic, upbeat and adventurous. Let setbacks roll off your back. Change the way you look at problems until you find the best solution. No matter what the situation, strive to be cool, calm and collected.

Keep a good sense of humor about yourself. If all of this seems hard to understand consider a person who dwells on negative thoughts, beliefs and attitudes. It will take them twice as long to succeed (if that happens at all.) Pessimism enhances stress, and tends to make things worse.

5. Eliminate Your Stress by Being Assertive When You Need To Be. It is important to deal with problems immediately and directly. Speak up for yourself. It may not be appropriate to vent your frustrations at work, but you can confide in a spouse, friend or family member. In other words, express your feelings in a safe environment. Don’t stuff your feelings, or attempt to de-stress by overeating, smoking or drinking excessively. It’s important to be in touch with your feelings and to acknowledge them. Express your thoughts clearly and with conviction. Look at people when you talk to them. You can be assertive and still be considerate of the feelings of others.

Realistically, there will be always be a time when we fall prey to negative emotions. We can train ourselves to recognize these feelings and address them, before they “hijack” us and take us prisoner. Increased awareness and better coping skills will put us on the road to less stress, every time.

Related posts:

1. How to Deal with Difficult People and Reduce Stress
2. Stress Relief Breathing Techniques

Today, we’re going to give you 10 important questions to ask to yourself to help you reduce stress and anxiety in your life.  These questions will help you discover areas of your life where you can grow and develop while reducing stress in the process.

These questions at times may seem like they are creating more stress than resolving it.  But this is only true in the short term.  These questions are powerful and will help you to work on a long term level for total stress reduction.

Everyday, there are things that we tolerate and overlook but most times there are things that stress us out.  Maybe it’s our “love handles” or cellulite that creates stress in our lives.  Sure, we’ll like to tone up and lose weight…. but we can’t seem to get motivated or make things happen.

That’s why we tolerate things and suppress the stress in our lives.  We decide not to focus or worry about it (but the truth is we just deny the problem all together).  Other times, we don’t speak up when things are really bothering us which leads to more stress and eventually it builds up to the point of an emotional break down, also known as a nervous break down.

If you want to really reduce stress and anxiety in your life, it is very important to speak your mind and have the right support you need if there is ever a problem too big to handle.  To identify the areas of your life that need improvement, ask yourself these 10 questions:

1. What do I really want? Clarity is power. If you get in touch with what you really want, then you’re more likely to make things happen. (Or recognize it when it comes your way).

2. Do I need to change? Sometimes, it is obvious that something isn’t working. Of course, if we keep doing the same things, we’ll get the same results. We need to try something different, or adjust our approach. Identifying our need to change (and coming up with some action steps, or maybe exploring our options) is the key to transformation.

3. How Can I Think Positive? When you’re down, look for some positive or good in your circumstances. Sometimes, a few seconds of reflection will lift your spirits and help you to smile again, even when things look bleak. Looking on the bright side also gives you a little burst of energy, which enables you to think creatively and come up with new ideas for problem solving.

4. Am I Comfortable With What I’m Doing? Don’t ignore warning signs, red flags, or that little voice inside that tells you something is not right.

5. Have I done enough for myself? Perhaps there is something that requires a step of faith. Or maybe it’s taking a risk. Explore your options. Don’t sell yourself short or hold back from pursuing your dreams.

6. Am I Happy with where I am today? Perhaps there is something else that you’d rather be doing. If you’re unhappy, ask yourself, “What could I do to feel happy right now?”, “What could I do to get me closer to being and feeling happier?”

7. Do I Appeal to the Opposite Sex? It is important to take care of your appearance. Even if you’re married (or in a committed relationship,) you don’t want to be sloppy about the way you look.  Your appearance is a reflection of who you are inside.  When you look your best, you’ll feel your best.  Come on, isn’t it an ego boost when someone finds you attractive?

8. Is there anything in my life that I am tolerating or overlooking? Sometimes, we don’t want to make an issue of things. Perhaps we avoid conflict, in order to keep the peace. Rather than stuffing or swallowing your feelings, make an effort to speak up and assert yourself. You can let people know how you feel and still be respectful of them.

9. What Motivates me? Being focused and on-track is a wonderful state to be in. There are lots of things that can get you pumped up and going. Maybe it’s your passion, driving force or life’s purpose. Get in touch with the things that motivate you.

10. Am I getting closer to making my dreams a reality? Identify the action steps you need to take. If you don’t know what to do, start looking around for answers. Read a book, do some research or talk to an expert.

Remember that the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Be courageous, and take the first step to change your life for the better. Do it now, do it one step at a time.

No related posts.